makan tu dosa!

my mom n dad ask me to join ESQ leadership training, bcoz they have attend it before, and they thought ESQ was a really good training.. when my parent ask me to join this training, i said, "apa siy ma? udah lah, aku gak prnh ngaruh ikut muasabah2 bgtuan.." but when they ask me fot the 2nd times, i cant refused it anymore, i said, "iya ma, slama aku masi bilang iya ke mama, insya Allah aku bakal bilang iya.."
surprise! muty wanted to join this training too.. she told me that the training we will attemd is the first jakarta campus training .. muty gave me the enrolment form n i enrol myself via fax..
the training started on march 26, 7am, so muty stayed in my house, coz she didnt wanna be late..
at the beginning of the 1st day, i felt very happy, we're singing, laughing n dancing with tommy (who's tommy? jez see tweenies, n u'll find the answer).. after the 1st coffee break, the real show had begun.. the trainer, called kak muhlis, remind us about our sin (sins maybe?), we all cried.. huhuhuu.. felt very guilty, esp to my mom n dad.. i'm so sorry mom, dad.. i finally found my real God.. after crying, i saw muty beside me, n she looked at me also, we talked silently with our eyes, then suddenly muty said, "makan tu dosa".. we both laughed n hug one another.. huhuhuuu.. love u friend.. i found my eyes was puffed-up.. i'm looking like a goldfish with big eyes..
tha 2nd day, march 27, began with reading n memorizing asmaul husna.. al-maliik.. i really like that name.. my son, i think i'm gonna named u malik.. or malika if i have a daughter.. pujoca, now i know i love u coz u represent Allah's name in ur attitude, i truly love Allah.. this day also full of tears.. fortunately, i carry a bag of tissue from home.. kak muhlis, remind us bout death, bout hell.. i'm crying n crying.. i'm so afraid.. please God, dont send me to hell, esp jahanam hell.. no please, no..
these 2 days were very tired days.. i'm physically not too tired, but i'm ill inside, finding myself full of sin.. ooh, Allah my God, help me please.. remind me not to against ur order anymore.. remind me Allah, please, i'm only human.. i need u..
mom, dad, dtha, mas pujo, and all my relatives n friends, all people who loves me, everybody i love n everyone who interject my name inside their prayer, hope we can meet each other in surga.. (i dont like to say heaven, surga is more okei i think)